Cavalry Entry
Description:Tingling Taste Buds
by Winetta Taster
In the Band of the Red Hand, there exists such a drink that one could almost call it the greatest kept secret of brewing. It is widely known and enjoyed by the Cavalry members in the Band. Alas, few of the other divisions have been gifted by the taste of it, let alone the countless millions of others who are NOT members of the illustrious Band of the Red Hand. Being a wine and spirits connoisseur of some recognized note, I decided to try this strange and exotic drink. I dare say I believe I may have found a drink that could make the rest of the wine and spirits economy roll over in collective apoplexy!
This brew, lovingly called Bandy in honor of the Band of the Red Hand and it's most elite of Regiments, the Cavalry, was created through the efforts of The Witch King. Through tireless trial and error, he bravely mixed and matched many ingredients and techniques. It's rich amber color and deep red undertone fires the blood and exhilarates the spirit, as if challenging you to battle. The thick, perfect, snowy white foam calls to you, as if to say, "Partake of my untouched wonders!" Believe me when I say the very aroma of the drink was potent enough to make me sway on my feet. I daresay the very sight of it, let alone the bouquet simply begs a person to partake of it's liquid perfection. As I said before, being a taster of no small experience, I knew that I must find a suitable seat before taking on this daring challenge that beckoned to my very soul.
As promised in the smell and appearance, Bandy is an extremely potent and fulsome drink, a side effect that is attributed to some of the...stranger...brewing techniques. (It is believed that part of the original brewing process was that the unfinished product be strained through Lazy's Socks, but has since been duplicated in a more sanitary fashion by Master Brewer, Lord StaffMaster.) Despite it extreme potency smoother than silk, with an initial taste of fine aged scotch, breaking into waves of flavor, at once powerful and overwhelming, yet rich in it's delicate flavor. Though the actual recipe is kept under lock and key by the command staff of the Cavalry, it is believed that a few of the ingredients are as follows. Scotch, flaming shots, processed petroleum products in various forms, and battle brew. We also have it on good authority that is contains the blood of some fell beast from a far off land. As this liquid delight slides down the pallet, one is treated to each of these unique and amazing flavors, combined in a manner that can only be described as perfection.
Bandy, known for it's versatility in flavor, has lent it's greatness to many other forms of drink, most notably, Cherry Bomb Bandy. Retaining all the flavors of the original, but blending artfully with the delicious flavor of marachino cherries. After all is said and done, I despite the hundreds of spirits and wines that this taste tester has imbibed, Bandy is the number one drink on my list, worthy of the honor of being made drink of the Year, for a certainty, if not drink of the century.
There is however one flaw to this perfect picture. That is the alarming strength of it's addictive qualities. This drink has been enjoyed by a certain number of people in the Band of the Red Hand, and to a person, every one of those has become irretrievably hooked on this marvelous substance, convinced that it is the very reason for life itself. It is rumored that other side effects exist and include, but are not necessarily limited to hallucination and the occasional voice in one's head tell you what to do. It is of this taster's opinion that these are unfounded rumors and are nothing to be alarmed about.
In parting, I believe that it is in everyone's best interest, nay, it is every one's civic DUTY to at least try this, the perfection known as Bandy, at least once in your life. Now if you will excuse me, I must go speak with my horse about a man.
The Legacy of the WitchKingThe making of bandy known only to a few,
Who lived when the King made this beautiful brew,
But as with all secrets, some others knew.
The brewing lived on, the brewers were new.
In the month of October in years gone by,
Lazy and Witch King looked to the sky.
They said, "We need a drink that will make us fly,
A drink so strong it'll make the weak cry".
They took a flaming shot, and a battle brew,
Mixed them together to see what they would do.
It wasn't enough, they wanted something new,
They then added scotch,and petroleum too.
The drink was still weak, others might mock,
In search of a cure they went for a walk.
Then struck by genius, that to truly unlock,
The flavor was found in the sole of a sock.
Powerful enough, but lacking finesse,
It needed more balance, to make it the best.
A fell beast approached from the distant west,
Lazy destroyed it at the Witch King's behest.
Into the drink, the beast's blood intermingled,
They each took a taste and it gave them a tingle,
They looked at each other and laughed with a rumble,
"This drink is now finished!", they said as they stumbled.
A powerful name for a powerful Brew,
They thought for a while, then knew what to do,
For the best of the band, the best they would use,
Naming it Bandy, what else would you choose!
Made by a King, poured through a sock,
This drink is far better than any had thought,
Tho different drinks, by others are bought,
For the Riders of the Storm ,there is naught.
A soldiers life has no time for play,
Until at last at the end of day.
Horses groomed, out of the fray.
To rest from Jak o the Shadows.
Then the drink, the cav’s bandy,
Is freely shared sweet as candy.
By bottle or glass, it’s dandy.
To drink with Jak o the shadows.
For fun, for honor, by lad and lass,
Bandy is served with grace and class,
In stirrup cup and frosted glass.
To thwart the Jak o the Shadows.
What is the stirrup cup you say?
A sacrament of the Knight today,
Once was a courtesy of gracious ways.
Before the Jak o the Shadows.
Long ago in a time long past,
A ritual formed held to fast
From Lord to rider , first to last.
To stave the Jak o the Shadows.
Twas a time of peace and goodwill,
Man and horse would ride for the thrill,
Of the chase, the hunt and the kill.
To be fed from Jak o the shadows.
The lord shared a bandy filled cup.
When the hunter’s foot fit the stirrup
Wishing goodspeed, and good luck.
The partings of Jak o the Shadows.
A simple tradition held fast and true,
Until change in the world, changed it too
Heartache of war gave us the clue.
The turnings of Jak o the Shadows.
Brothers and Sister’s of the Horse,
Bonded by Honor stayed the course,
Fighting for light with renewed force.
To dance with Jak o the Shadows.
Hunter and horse became Knight and Steed,
Riding out to defend the land at need,
Leaving no time for the ritual deed.
To protect from Jak o the shadows.
The darkness and the chaos of war,
Demanded the blessings even more,
Of goodspeed and goodluck to implore,
For the Knights of Jak o the shadows.
A commission was made for a special stein,
That would be shared at a moment divine,
When men became knights, a sacred time.
The hero’s of Jak o the shadows.
Not at the stirrup but on bended knee,
No longer the hunter wild and free.
A soldier now bound by holy see.
The call of Jak o the shadows.
The stirrup cup time did amend,
Filled with bandy a warrior send,
To honor, to glory , the light to defend.
To dance with Jak o the shadows.
Bandy served both cold and hot,
At celebrations or battles fought,
In cup or glass, it matters nought,
The envy of Jak o the Shadows.
Commentary:Bandy is the best drink in the band. This is an inherently obvious fact for many reasons. One primary reason is the best drink resides in the best regiment, so Bandy is the best because the Cavalry is the best. To be a Knight in the Cav you must be tough and strong, and we have a tough strong drink to match. A knight draws strength from bandy and drinks bandy when raised as a symbol of the bond of honor that draws all the band's knights together.
Now you might be saying, "you cant declare bandy as the best just because the cav is the best". You might even be denying that the cav is the best. But instead of getting into that fun discussion I'll instead offer other proof as to why Bandy is the best drink in the Band. For example ours is the only drink with the word Band in it. Our acknowledgment of the band in our drink puts us a step above the competition.
And now for a third reason, the obvious reason why bandy is the best, the taste. If you are looking for a nice strong drink that tastes awesome then bandy is the drink for you. Ice cold and served in a tall glass with a side of pizza when available and you will never want another drink again. Bandy doesn't need to be on fire to be fun, it tastes great as it is. And you never have to worry about possible latrine water in bandy. So when you enter a fine tavern and are looking at all the drinks available, select a cool refreshing bandy, and know you have made at least one good choice this night.